Like many 20 something women, I don’t feel quite ready for the big head-over-heals lets make babies kind of love. I’ve been in love before, gone through a couple of break ups and have become really focused on my work in the world—my job in digital marketing, getting my life coaching certification, and launching The Pursuit of Fabulous. I love this work and am fully committed to it. But it does take a lot of emotional energy.
And while there is always a part of me that longs for romantic connection and loves the feeling of being in love, I think that falling in love and being in a relationship would be a distraction right now, throwing me off center and taking my focus away from my work and onto a guy. And I don’t want that.
BUT, I still crave masculine energy in my life. Someone to text. Someone to go on cute dates with and-yes-someone to give me the occasional butterflies in my stomach. And I guess what I’m wondering is if it’s possible to have a relationship in your mid-twenties that is neither leading toward marriage nor just a hookup? Something that is respectful, romantic, and NOT on a fast track down the aisle? And as woman, who values love and commitment and definitely wants to get married someday, is such a relationship OK with me?
What I’ve decided is that it’s all about the energy of the relationship. If being with Mr. Right Now makes you feel good AND doesn’t leave you with an emotional hangover, than by all means, carry on. BUT if you find yourself starting to care and obsess over someone whose not looking for something serious and you (in spite of your initial intention to not get emotionally involved) start to want more, than it’s time to move on.
The most important thing to remember when you’re in this place is to love yourself NO MATTER WHAT. To be brave enough to examine your true feelings, even if they’re uncomfortable. To forgive yourself if you do get off track or fall for someone who isn’t right for you. To remember that there really are no mistakes and there is ALWAYS something to learn. And to trust your gut above all else.
If you’re in place of confusion about the state of your romantic relationship and looking for some support and clarity, I invite you to email me at Rebecca@Thepursuitoffabulous.com to set up a free breakthrough coaching session. It is my mission to help as many women as possible to create lives (and love lives) that feel truly fabulous and it would be my honor to work with you.